Kept on Track by Providence

In a class on Christian Spirituality at the seminary, I was recently assigned to do a report on Jean-Pierre DeCaussade’s spiritual classic “Abandonment to Divine Providence”. The timing of the report could not have been better, as college graduation looms at the end of this semester and I am to begin the canonical novitiate in the Philippines, a country which, although I was born there twenty-two years ago and have not returned in over twenty years, I know very little about. The assignment has led me to trust even deeper in God’s providence during this time of change, as well as to remember the marvels God has done for me already.

I am the oldest of the three children of Joel and Cristina Dela Peña, with Kevin and Janine coming after me respectively, and so I was always known as the “kuya” or big brother of the house. I owe a debt of gratitude to my parents who raised me in a very loving household within which my vocation was nurtured through discipline, example and most importantly, familial love. My parents have been wonderfully supportive of my desire to be a priest just as much as my grandmother’s unending prayers.

I have wanted to be a priest since I was very young. I can still remember clearly an assignment I had to do in my pre-k class at St. Aloysius’ in Jersey City. I had to color in the empty outline of a person with the uniform of the profession I wanted to be when I got older. While my classmates attempted to draw lab-coats and fire-helmets, I colored my person all black, leaving a speck of white at the neckline. In fact, a few days later, Sister Mary named me the student-of-the-month.

With time, however, this desire for the priesthood has grown and continues to mature from the idealisms of youth to the realization of the realities which such a life of service entails. During my high school years, I worked on the weekends at Holy Face Monastery, in Clifton, NJ. Through working there, I saw what religious life was really about. Through the example of the Benedictine monks, I saw what it was like to work and pray in the service of God and neighbor. I am obliged to them for the guidance they showed me during those years of discernment.

My family moved to Lodi from Jersey City in 1994, though it was not until 2001 that I met the Adorno Fathers, since my family had become parishioners of Sacred Heart in Rochelle Park, instead of St. Joseph’s in Lodi. Upon graduating from High School in 2005, I entered the seminary with the Adornos. It is true that when God leads, God provides. The past four years of life at the seminary have been a roller coaster ride, filled with fears and thrills, high points and low points, at times fast paced at other times slow, as on an incline. No matter where I may be on the tracks, I feel the wind of the Spirit stirring me to my goal and I am sure that if I hold on tight to Providence, all will be well!

As to what the future may hold, I do not know and I try not to worry about it. As DeCaussade teaches us, we should live in the present moment, trusting that God’s providence will take care of tomorrow. Therefore, with this in mind, I can do nothing now but express my gratitude to God whose loving providence continues to astound me, to my family whose love inspires me, to my friends whose confidence motivates me, to the Adornos whose patience encourages me and to all of you, who, by your thoughts and prayers, keep me safe on this roller coaster ride of life.